What is a facilitator? It is a private
or public adoption agency, or attorney who helps to arrange
an adoption.
If you are pregnant and considering adoption,
you may be confused about where to begin.
It is
critical that you have a facilitator (agency or
attorney)
you can trust. After all, this decision
will affect you and your child for the rest of your
lives.
A compassionate facilitator will explain all
aspects of the adoption process to you
and provide ongoing services to meet your
emotional needs as you make this decision.
- Does the facilitator listen to you and
discuss what you feel is best for you and your baby both
now and in the future?
If your facilitator does all the talking about what
is best for you and your baby or tells you what a
“good” adoption plan is for you, he or she has a
pre-set formula for adoptions and could disregard
your right to make your own plan for your baby.
Trustworthy facilitators will take the time to help
you decide if adoption is right for you and will
honestly discuss your options and rights when
forming an adoption plan.
- Will your facilitator be there for you
before, during, and after the birth of your baby?
A reputable facilitator will be supportive of you
during all stages of your pregnancy and after the
birth of your baby... whether you choose adoption or
parenting.
- During your pregnancy, does your facilitator
have access to community resources that can assist you
with housing, medical and living expenses, maternity
clothes, and counseling?
A facilitator who offers comprehensive services will
provide ongoing counseling and put you in touch with
community resources that will help with your
immediate needs.
- Are services only linked to how much an
adoptive family is willing to pay?
A reputable facilitator wants to find the best
family for your child, and fees should not impact
their decision.
- When you talk to some facilitators, do they
make you feel like you are “selling” your baby?
Trust your instincts. If you were offered money up
front to work with an agency or attorney, the
facilitator wants your baby at a price and is not
concerned about your needs. The facilitator’s goal
is to convince you to release your baby.
- Will you be able to see your baby after he
or she is placed for adoption?
The degree of openness in the adoption plan is by
mutual agreement between the birthparents and
adoptive parents. An ethical facilitator will
explain all of your options to you.
- What about the birthfather?
A facilitator who tells you it is unnecessary to
contact the birthfather to complete the adoption
plan is putting your plan and your child’s future at
great risk of disruption. Birthfathers have certain
legal rights, and experienced facilitators will work
with you and the birthfather to complete the
adoption plan.
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